Monday, October 29, 2007
Pages read for class today: 87
Hours spent in class: 3
Bottles of water on my desk: 5
How hungry I am on a scale of 1-10: 3,000
Hours spent on public transportation: 2
Gentlemen I saw spit while waiting at the trax station: 3
Gentlemen I saw farmer blow at the trax station: 1
Friday, October 26, 2007
"I'm-about-to-dress-up-and-ask-a-panel-of-judges-to-take-me-seriously-while-I-field-questions-about-fake-people's-fake-rights-all-day-and-try-not-to-pee-my-skirt." Just calling it "moot court" is less descriptive, but more convenient.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Speaking of which, last week in Relief Society our lesson was on women in the church and YOWZA! Talk about stirring the pot...our teacher didn't get to say anything because the comments took over, and hand after hand went up like I have never seen before in my quarter century upon our earth. Some examples:
- one young newlywed mentioned she feels a lot of pressure to have kids. Several women responded, telling her it was the best thing she could ever do so to get started, while a bunch of other women told her to feel free to put it off a while because it will never be just her and her husband again, and one woman even asked, "Have you asked God's opinion? See what He thinks."
- one youngish mom with 2 little kids commented that while she loves being a parent, staying home is driving her crazy and it's not sustainable for her because she doesn't feel like all her talents are being utilized and she wants to contribute in a different way. A few people responded to her, saying that she needs to make it sustainable because that's where she belongs, while others expressed sympathy, urging her to follow her heart because so-and-so never regrets working and allowing your kids to see you pursue your talents helps them know it's okay and good for each of them to be his or her own person, too.
- one old lady with grown kids mentioned she wished she'd never worked outside the home and has felt guilty about it for 30 years, and another lady said she was glad she did because it taught her kids independence and is sick of people judging her.
- everyone agreed that whether they stayed at home, worked part time, full-time, kids, no kids, whatever, that they had felt judged by someone else because of their decision but that we shouldn't get up in each other's business.
Our lesson went 5 minutes over, raised voices, tears, hugs, you name it, a lot of emotions were close to the surface. Spiciest RS lesson of my life. Interested to hear how the men's lesson went, I asked my husband if his was as juicy as ours.
Not even close.
No one had anything to say. The opening question was, "What do you think are some challenges women in the church face?" Dead silence for a while, then one guy said that maybe a small minority want the priesthood. It's hilarious/startling/revealing that all these men are CLUELESS about what's important/challenging/heartbreaking for their spouses, having completely different conversations about the same topic. Like the genders live on different planets!
Addition: I should also note that I did not participate in the RS discussion, primarily because I was wrapped up in all the feelings swirling from the women around me. But I was really surprised at how many women felt judged; not just working moms, who said they felt like second-class citizens or like their neighbors looked down on them, or expressed frustration that people assumed they "had" to work when sometimes they just found it fulfilling, but also from moms who stayed at home. Some of them expressed feelings about how they felt like the worker bees looked down on them because "all" they did was stay home, so they must have tons of free time. One employed-outside-the-home mom mentioned that she knew plenty of moms that spent more time away from home than she did, but usually for community involvement or politics or uber-volunteering or whatever, so unpaid and therefore didn't count as a "job" so they were still "good moms." Overall, it really struck me how many women had conflicting feelings, regardless of their choices, and how sometimes, with all the pressure, it's a lose-lose. And let's make it a win-win, dammit.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
In the last month or two, people have been up in my business about having a kid and being in law school. A lot of people are awesome and normal about it, and a lot of other people either assume I am dropping out, or they say things like "Hrmph. I never wanted to be one of those mothers that put their career ahead of their children," or on the opposite end, act like the lawyer life is the only thing that matters with statements like "Well what kid of job can you get now?" Such questions and comments make me grumpy.
Today, a champion classmate overheard me in the hall, talking about having a baby, and stopped and screamed and gave me a huge hug. He was thrilled, and the other classmate I was talking to said, "Yeah, we're just talking about how this will affect her career and where she'll get offers," and this all-star chimed in with "Who cares? That's the best news ever." He then said the following, one of the nicest things in a long time and it almost made me cry right in the freaking hallway. Put it on a t-shirt, folks:
(pointing at the classrooms) "This is superficial. "
(pointing to my belly) "THAT right there is the real deal."
I will love that guy forever for saying that.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
....and all I can think about is poo because it's just one letter short of FECAL. Sometimes my maturity overwhelms me.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
1. I really enjoy plums. Fruit in general, but especially plums because I am often quite thirsty. And you know what? They're great, and oft-forgotten. So go get yourself a few, and enjoy. You're welcome for the suggestion.
2. My clothes are getting snug, and I am in the flattering stage of looks that vary from "Aww, she's plumping out a bit, must be drowning her law school sorrows in Skittles, bless her heart" to "so...is anything new?" to "Back away from the doughnuts, tubachub."
3. I could sleep. all. freaking. day.
4. I made it the whole first trimester without puking. From what I hear, that's an exciting accomplishment, but now how am I supposed to guilt and/or manipulate our child about how much I barfed for it?
5. People keep asking me what I'm going to do. What kind of response does that deserve? What do you mean, what am I going to do? How about, love it? Raise it? Try to train it up in the way it should go? My new response: "Well, we've decided to keep it." No one has asked husband what he's going to do, just me, and maybe they never got the birds and bees talk, but it takes two. And we are both thrilled. And no I am not dropping out.
6. I don't know anything about little kids, and it's an overwhelming feeling to imagine that a little person, part me and part husband, will join our little fam. Will it hate us? Will it love us? Will it resent us? Will we embarrass it? Will it one day laugh with us about homonym mix ups and misplaced quotation "marks"? Will it be a poet/mechanic/florist/(insert vocation here)? Will it get its father's digestive system? (Please, please no). Will it decide to join us during finals, or will it hold out a bit longer? Will a relationship with a higher power click for it right away, or later in life, or never? Will we mess it up or will it flourish amidst our quirks? Will my nipples blister and bleed (I know, I know, it's gross but we've all heard the horror stories...come on...)?
We're pretty thrilled.