Tuesday, April 24, 2007

that's why it's shimmygurrshimmy

I kind of feel like doing the mortgage dance right now bc as of 11:30 this morning, mountain time, MY FIRST YEAR OF LAW SCHOOL IS A THING OF THE PAST.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Goodbye outlines, hello lunch dates.
Goodbye barf, hello naps.
Goodbye homework, hello bad TV.
Goodbye schedule, hello whatever the freak I want.
Goodbye self-esteem...

Friday, April 20, 2007


So, I had a strange/awesome/sad experience today.

Out of the blue, a girl who just got her mission call to wonderful NY got my email address off the mission website and had a few questions. Today we met for lunch. Looking at her, so excited and nervous and endearing, brought back a big fat flood of about-to-leave emotions.
I remember when my mission was still imaginary, when I wasn't sure if I'd go, when I found out where I was going, when the whole thing was an exciting but totally blank slate stretching before me. Before I knew how much it aches to watch someone feel it then still decide to close the door, and before I knew how it felt to almost explode from happiness, despite your nasty sweatpits and even though you've been wearing the same skirt for a month, you don't even notice because you just met someone that said they'd pray and you could tell they meant it. Anyway, I could tell from our hour-long lunch date that this girl was a fantastic, capable, dedicated person and ready for the adventure. Her not-so-into-church mom came too, and cried a lot, and it was just exhilarating to feel the just-about-to-be-a-missionary vibe and think about all that is ahead for her and her family.

Anyway, I left the law school around noon today (after a mind-numbing contracts exam...rage...rage...) and was supposed to meet them about 45 minutes away for lunch at 1. Randomly, it popped into my head to stop by the fam's and grab my old mission coat in case this girl needed it. But let's be honest, I love my mission coat in all its frumpy, puffy, pet-hair-ridden glory, and wasn't sure I was ready to part with it, and also wasn't sure I had time to stop to get it. Just as I was thinking that, my phone rang and she asked if we could meet at 1:30 bc they were running behind. A sign! Now that I had time, I decided to grab the coat, though I felt a) a little sad even thinking about parting with it and b) dumb for even wanting to bring it, since I hadn't even seen this girl and she could easily be five feet tall or six feet tall and my dumpy old coat may not even fit, IF she even wanted it. So, it turns out she doesn't have a big winter coat yet. She tried it on in the parking lot and it fit perfectly and she's taking it with her!

I still don't know how to describe it. I am trying to find the right words and keep striking out. I'm just not sure how to explain it. But something just hit me, seeing how sweet she was, and excited, and nervous, and charismatic, and curious about the future...just imagining what the next year and a half holds for her really got to me. And something about handing her my coat, and watching her put it on, and remembering when I found it on sale the day before I left, and the tag was already way cheaper than anything else I'd found, and then it magically rang up at the register as $40 less than the tag price. Just thinking about all the places I wore that coat, and all the times I'd have to air it out after being in a smokey house for an hour, or all the times I'd wipe mud off it after a rainy adventure, or standing outside Brian's house in the rain wringing it out, or the little kids that would try to hide under it bc it was so long and puffy. Or how glad I was that it was a little big, so that I could wear three skirts and three sweaters underneath it without feeling squished, and how goofy I felt when I first saw my reflection when I was wearing it, but how it got to feel like a second skin in the winter, and the worn-out spot where I'd clip my nametag, or buttoning it up tight the day that we tracted for four hours and our hair froze but we were miraculously still warm.

There was just something about remembering so vividly everything I did wearing that coat, and handing to her, and watching her zip it up. She held her arms out and laughed, and I could feel her excitement and it reminded me that my mission is really over and that hers is about to begin and it was sad and beautiful.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

my morale is at its nadir

So, a funny thing happened to me today: I took a Con Law final.

It's one of those things that's not really "funny" as in "giggle, giggle, my tummy hurts from giggles" but more like "Sick! what's that funny smell?" or "Ew, my persistafriend is giving me a funny look." THAT kind of funny. But seriously, the word choice was out of control, including a question phrased:
"The president's power is at its nadir when..."

Thoughts that went through my mind?
1. Is he making a Ralph Nadar joke?
2. What does it mean about me, that I'm immediately thinking "gay-dar"?
3. I'm going to go with my gut here and say it means lowest point, since nil, nada and nothing all start with 'N' and so does nadir, and he means lowest.

Of course, post-funny-test, I scurry back to dictionary.com where I discover the following:
1. Astronomy. the point on the celestial sphere directly beneath a given position or observer and diametrically opposite the zenith.
2. Astrology. the point of a horoscope opposite the midheaven: the cusp of the fourth house.
3. the lowest point; point of greatest adversity or despair.

Opposite of a ZENITH? And, how did he know we are full of despair?? And, WHY CAN'T PEOPLE USE NORMAL WORDS?

Monday, April 09, 2007

Lame Hits

Years ago, my buddy Nate compiled 3 volumes in a collection he entitled "Nate's Lame Hits," 3 glorious CDs of songs that we all love but are embarrassed to love, and sing along to on the radio only if we are alone and certain no one will find out, mostly 90s rock out ballads. I LOVE NATE'S LAME HITS.

For about a solid week (to my husband's immense delight, bc it reminds him what a hot, hip, sophisticated woman he got hitched to) I've been humming Beyonce's Irreplaceable...if you know it you're probably snapping and singing "To the left, to the left..." right now. Is it embarrassing that I love that song? Maybe. Or else it's AWESOME. Either way, I invite you to confess songs you love but are embarrassed to love. I'll start a few:

1. Irreplaceable!
2. Friends Stick Together (by Kenneth Cope. Seriously).
3. Crazy by Snoop Dogg (relax, I mean the clean version).
4. Sophie B Hawkin's As I lay me down to sleep...you know, the one that says "do you like tacos?" in the background.
5. 2Pac's How do you want it!

Your turn. And remember, everyone is invited to contribute, even Rachel W.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Monday, April 02, 2007

rage, etc.

I am wary about posting right now since I don't want to take any attention away from my latest and very mature post "Farting in Public" (seriously, check it out) but this is important:

which of the following is most cringe-inducing*?:

A. Chicken Soup for the Soul for Women Golfers
B. Chicken Soup for the Shopper's Soul ("celebrating bargains, boutiques and the perfect pair of shoes")
C. Chicken Soup for the NASCAR Soul (including the following quote from a champion racer: "Racing around a track at 200 miles per hour is hard. Racing through life at even greater speeds is even harder.")
D. The fact that there is "Chicken Soup for the Pet Lovers" brand PET FOOD.

*Sorry if you or anyone you love owns any or all of these, but COME ON.