Thursday, May 31, 2007

I am not making this up.

Dear Itunes Music Store,

I appreciate you, and you've brought a lot into my life, especially when I got home from my mission and worked out with a CD player and felt like Austin Powers and had good friends explain to me the wonder of Tunes Inside Computers That Can Magically Transfer To A Little Computer Smaller Than My Hand And Remain In Both Places Forever. You and I, we have a long history, and it's my love for you that leads me to such confusion right now. How could you do this to me? I just want to know WHY.

I know the list is for me because it says "Just For You" at the top and has ten song suggestions for me. What I'm wanting to know right now is why the freak this is how the list begins:

1. MMMBop
2. Gettin' Jiggy Wit It


Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Just ran into the following:

"He is regressing socially, emotionally and physically."

Physically?? You're telling me he shrunk, or his hair is growing back into his head, or he turned 12 when he should've turned 14?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Why my new job is better than yours

1. I do what I want. That's right, every day I scope out what's going on and do it if I want.

2. I get to hang out with kids who crack me up (for example, when the judge asks if they have any questions for me, they all raise their hands and yell things like "Do you have any pets??" and "What's your favorite animal??!")

3. I can have lunch dates whenever I please.

4. I learn not to do drugs or neglect my future children or yell obscenities at my husband. This makes him love me extra and not get mad when I order 14 books for S!R!E! online and never do the dishes or put away my laundry.

5. I get to make friends with the court reporters and then they show me their machines and teach me about court reporter school and spelling phonetically with only 16 keys, and no I don't care if that makes me sound like a 5th-grader on a field trip, because it's awesome.

6. I get to make friends with the officers who transport people from prison and show me their taser guns and how to pounce at a moment's notice.

7. It makes my husband think he's married to a grown-up.

8. So what if I don't get paid? That just means they don't own my butt the way your job owns yours.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Books, Part I

I've got a good, old-fashioned 9-5 set up right now which means the S!R!E! (Summer! reading! extravaganza!) has begun. Just finished one that really rocked my socks off. The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls. Five Stars! A rollercoaster of a memoir, crazy adventures and free-thinking parents and resilient champion kids, lots of creeps and alcohol and exploring and heartbreak and such. It has just given me a lot to think about and I'm kind of still wrapping my mind around it but I'd like to enthusiastically recommend it not to the faint of heart but only to those who like adrenaline and tragic quirkiness.

Anyway, I am eager for recommendations so feel free to make some S!R!E! suggestions. I have this tendency to read things in one sitting, which I enjoy, but it also means I'm in constant need of new material.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Clever husband

I saw a law school friend yesterday who had a baby mid-semester. I began asking her about the logistics of having a child in the midst of law school and she explained that there was a cry room, where class gets piped in if you have to leave with your baby, much like church mother's rooms worldwide. She even explained that if you position your foot correctly, it is possible to nurse and take notes on your laptop simultaneously. Outstanding! (Note: for an enjoyable tidbit of nursing information, visit here. Trust me. You want to see it.) STOP! THIS JUST IN! JUNE 11 UPDATE: JUST TRIED TO ACCESS THAT LINK FROM THE LAW SCHOOL AND DON'T WORRY, THE NURSING INFO IS TOTALLY BLOCKED BY BYU BECAUSE IT OF "NUDITY AND SEXUAL MATERIALS." love you, cougars.

Later that day, I recounted these adventures to my dear husband and was reminded of exactly why I married him. His response about the girl who takes notes while nursing?

"Cool. Type'n'Teat."

Monday, May 07, 2007


Dear readers who may resemble aliens:

Good news! Gone are the days where you have to be ashamed of your huge face and squished-together features. No longer must you hang your enormous head in shame while regular-face-sized people with proportionate features succeed around you, scooping up every opportunity and leaving you to grumble about a mothership and holding up glowsticks and being dissected on TV. Now you can be a model!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

serious blast from the past

Yikes. The hub and I just hit up the mission and OH. DEAR. I don't even know what to blog about it except to say that if you're wondering if the only thing better than the mish itself is hitting it up with your favorite, permanent hangout friend, the answer is yes. I highly recommend it.

Other things I recommend:
  • Wegmans
  • Sleeping from pre-takeoff to post-landing and therefore remaining unaware traveling ever took place
  • Hearing that a woman you tried to teach for ages but kept striking out with is now the Relief Society secretary
  • Watching the sunset from the Hill Cumorah until a fakeout-grumpy man kicks you off by telling you he's served 8 missions and is training to hike the Appalachians and that he saw 27 turkeys, some on top of trees.
  • Shrieking with strangers bc you know the same mission champs.
  • diving into Niagara Falls. Okay, not that one.