Sunday, June 29, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Only allowed for accountants and engineers. I should know because I'm an English-ist Political Scientist
HOLD EVERYTHING. Did you get a Ph.D. and neglect to mention it? Do you work for a think tank?? Do you measure election results in test tubes?? If a bachelor's degree means this fellow gets to call himself a political scientist, WATCH OUT WORLD. Turns out my college buddies just got a lot more impressive: "My friend the economist..." or "My friend the organizational communicator..." or "My friend the art historian..." or "My friend the biologist" or "My friend the international relations theorist..." Who cares if they're secretaries and/or working for the man? We sound awesome.
Monday, June 23, 2008
And now it's time for an e-high five. One of my nearest and dearest buddies Supalinds just rocked the hell out of a triathlon, and when I say “triathlon,” I don’t mean one of those sample-cup-from-Costco ones where you swim a lap, bike for half an hour and slap a 5K on the end (though she does those and tends to kick everyone else around on them), but one of the “do people really do that? I always thought it was a myth” ones you hear about occasionally or see on TV and think only drugged-up pros or speedy Kenyans ever think about. ONE OF THOSE. She’s been training like a maniac for months and months and yesterday became an IRONWOMAN, swimming 2.4 miles (sh*t you not), THEN biking 112 miles (mmm hmmm, that's right, like riding your bike from Provo to Logan, folks), THEN throwing a full-length marathon on at the end just for good measure. That's 140.6 miles in one day without a motorized vehicle, ON PURPOSE. She's like our very own Sayid, unbelievably good at everything hard and the one person you want on your side if you do something dangerous.
And for those of us whose competitive exercise involves seeing if we can walk around the neighborhood before the cute baby gets mad, 12.5 hours of competitive triathl-racing is impossible to imagine, but possible to shimmy about, so join with me in shimmying for this rockstar friend of mine, and please think I'm a little cooler just for knowing such a champ. SUPALINDS FOR PRESIDENT!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Briefing every case in law school is like mowing your lawn by grabbing fistfuls of grass.
Going out with a friend's old boyfriend is like wearing your sister's hand-me-down underwear...you just don't do that.
Seeing a Sig at the Gateway is like seeing a teenager at a high school.
Lisa Simpson, about Nelson: "He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest."
and my personal favorite...
Mom blogs are like family Christmas newsletters on crack.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
2. If you aren't a crafty person, make peace with that, because venturing into the unknown world of craft two days before Father's Day in an effort to make your hub something awesomely creative will probably result in an embarrassing disaster and 3 separate trips to the crafty store where the women working there will laugh at you for not knowing what the hell "decoupage" is.
3. If your baby happens to poop all over your skirt at church, you can try to act natural, but orange on white is not camouflage.
4. If you feel ambitious and bust through some recipe books looking for the easiest things you can find, and then you decide to use a crockpot for the first time in your life, it will probably remind you of a time right before you got married when a friend said, "Remember, boys are like microwaves and girls are like crockpots," and then you will be grossed out.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
What happens if you fill your car up with gas using the pay-inside option, and then your card doesn't work? Or you don't have the cash you thought you did? And the gas is already in your car? Do you have to wash out the hot dog machine? Do they take your license plate number and put it on your tab? I ask not because of personal experience, but because it occurred to me today that I am 25 years old and have no idea what would happen in that situation. Enlighten me.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
2. We blessed our cute baby Sunday and she was really cute and really good and really cute. Same with hub, who refrained from changing her name during the blessing; I shall therefore bear him more children.
3. We actually (gasp!) cleaned up our home in anticipation of the festivities involved in the event mentioned in #2. This includes the bathroom...yikes.
4. I got up in front of the whole congregation even though I was 90 percent sure my boobs were about to leak.