Friday, December 19, 2008

A few things on my mind lately...

A few things on my mind lately:
  • Friday Night Lights. Do you watch it?? It's taken over our lives lately, thanks to the public library. Did you know the public library has tons of normal TV shows on DVD?? It does and Matt Serason and Julie Taylor are killing me! Not to mention, who doesn't have a crush on Tim Riggins? And Landry, the zitty teenaged Matt Damon? Do you watch it? I know I'm generally about two years behind the TV curve so it's okay if you're over it, but it's lighting up my life. We've busted through both seasons in an embarrassingly short amount of time.
  • Also, I think Levi Bristol-Palin's-Baby's-Daddy Johns(t)on is a real life version of Tim Riggins, only not as good looking or sympathetic. But still. And Riggins has a total Sawyer thing going on, which reminds me, I'm pumped for LOST.
  • Did you see this baby-had-a-fully-formed-foot-growing-out-of-its-brain story?!? Weird.
  • You know how you can "yearbook yourself?" Like, take your face and surround it with decade-appropriate hair and clothing and laugh about how you suddenly look like the sixties? Well, whenever I see pictures on facebook of elders I knew on my mission I get the giggles. Bc that's exactly what it looks like, like they yearbooked themselves into 2008. The awkward, well-scrubbed face I know so well suddenly has a nasty goatee or soulpatch, throw in a faux hawk, put them next to a mascara'd blonde overloaded with jangly jewelry and voila, 2008. It's incredible.
  • Have you seen this blog, men who look like old lesbians? Accurately named. The header is the best part. Enjoy.
  • Did you know that sometimes little kids have birthday parties at the Lion House? They really do. ChuckECheese it's not. We started brainstorming themed games kids could play there and while most of them are inappropriate to mention here, one reason I married my husband is because he suggested a version of Duck, Duck, Goose entitled "Widow, widow, virgin."

Friday, December 12, 2008

shake it!

Just finished my last final and I'm high (on life)!! Time wise I'm 83% done with law school but credit-wise I'm 91% of the way done with law school and it feels pretty good and I just want to do this....remember this??:

Last time I had finals it was within a week of pushing out a baby so this time, I'm frazzled but not ablaze in private places, so that's a plus. Time for a vacation, and by vacation, I mean cuddle my cute kiddo all day every day and consume a lot of Cap'n Crunch. Feel free to e-high five me. Also, it's embarrassing how much Beyonce's latest album is spicing up my life. "PUT YOUR HANDS UP!"

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

hold the salad

Q significantly more interesting than Business Law: How many ingredients are necessary before you can rightfully call an assortment of vegetable(s) a salad? Is just lettuce enough? Someone I know claims it's permissible to just have a bowl of lettuce and some dressing and it's officially a salad. Agree or disagree? I mean really, do you see lettuce and think "that could BECOME a salad" or "that IS a salad"?

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

argh blech grrr and so forth

My last semester of college, I took a tele-course for some stupid art history requirement and when I say "took" I mean signed up for. No offense to Austrialian Megs the art history master, but this class was dumb. At least, I think it was, though how the freak do I know bc I never went.

It was one of those courses you supposedly watch on TV but (shocking, I know) I never did. Ever. It was on public television at something ridiculous like 10 PM on Fridays, and we didn't even have channels at our apartment (seriously...we had a TV but just for movies, make sense?). You could check videos out from the library which I always planned on doing to catch up but it just never happened. I'm a pretty good student most of the time but this was a glaring exception and you know how the less you do, the less you want to do? Yep. So, when I got an email telling me it was time for the open-book midterm I figured, "Uh oh, better pull something out." I hadn't thought AT ALL about the fact, I didn't even own the book. The morning of the midterm, I went to the library thinking I'd check the book out and fake it.

Of course, the book was checked out.

I scurried to the bookstore to buy it (20 minutes before the exam) and OF COURSE, they don't have it. So what do I do? Why, what any self-respecting BSer would do...I show up to take the open book exam sans book and WITHOUT ONE RELEVANT PIECE OF INFORMATION IN MY BRAIN.

I walked in a little shy bc I didn't know if the man standing there was a proctor or actually the teacher, since I'd never watched the class. And then I just made stuff up. I got an email a few weeks later saying I could pick up my midterm, but I was scared to go, so never found out what I got on the exam. Naturally, I swore I'd salvage in time for the final.

(In my defense I'll say that in my other classes, I was attending, doing well, "learning," etc.; this one was uniquely impossible for me to feel motivated to do anything for. I promise I have a brain and, minus several glaring exceptions, am a responsible, reasonably good student).

Well, the final rolled around, and I still hadn't purchased the book,and I still hadn't watched a single class period. Luckily he emailed a "study guide" pdf out that looked like it was from the 1950s, Xeroxed or something so it looked all old-fashioned and smudgy. So I showed up armed with that.

45 minutes late.

All the doors were locked so I had wandered around the building for a while and finally got in, sat down, realized I had been really, really, really awful about this whole thing and just hoped for a miracle. I was about to graduate and just kept thinking, "Well, it's a general requirement, so if I get a C- or better I'm fine. Visualize a C. Visualize a C," and just started word-vomiting on the page. Good, old-fashioned make shiz up type word vomiting from someone startlingly unprepared for absolutely no good reason.

What did I get?

An A-.

Well, tomorrow morning I have an eerily similar situation and as Jennifer says, I'm alternating between panic and apathy. I'm just banking on the planet sending me the gift of bullshit. Though I have a sinking feeling United States bankruptcy code may be slightly more difficult to pretend on than the History of Art in Utah.

However, at the risk of sounding like TAMN, it's not my fault this guy made class too mind-numbingly boring to attend. In the words of the illustrious Rachel Williams, may I say, "Passing finals this year will be a Christmas miracle."

Here goes nothing.