Monday, February 16, 2009

both are barfy, obviously

I hate these both enough that I'm a bit stuck in choosing which one to detest most. Input please.

Which one is worse:

1. Over-enthusiastic business-speak, a la "If we synergize, delegate and compare strengths and weaknesses, then execute a thoroughly composed business plan with a trajectory of success through saw-sharpening, cutting excess while showing we're self-starters with a lot of initiative, willing to take risks with a philosophy of economic independence and resourcefulness..."

OR

2. Reality TV dating speak, a la "I put myself out there and wore my heart on my sleeve and made myself vulnerable, and you've just gotta BE there a hundred percent, be ready for that, ready to live your life together and be with the one you love forever and take those risks, and fall, and fall hard, and put yourself out there in spite of it all, just living in the moment."

What if you had to pick one to hear on repeat for a week straight?

Just wondering.

13 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

business because i could drown it out more easily

La Yen said...

Number One. Because if I listened for long enough, with a rapt expression, then maybe I would get lunch boughten for me. I would be afraid that if I got too close to number two I would get crabs.

ebv said...

The first one. Useless, meaningless, and oft-misunderstood buzzwords make me want to rip arms off.

Cliche'd date speak just makes me want to vomit.

I'll take nausea over irrational acts of irrevocable and probably fatal violence any day.

AzĂșcar said...

I work with Chris. Guess what I get to hear all week?

heidikins said...

I think if I heard the date-speak for more than 30-minutes I would saw my own ears off with a spork.

Ditto on the business-speak (see: last sales conference)

xox

Lena said...

If I had to pick, I would choose to hear the business speak. I hate relationship talk. Get over yourself!

Shauna said...

I am new here! What a great blog :)

So said...

Probably the second one. Just because I'm all about bad reality tv more than I'm all about over-enthusiastic business speak.

Jennifer said...

Hmmm...aren't the both the same? Reality TV is big business...

Ashley is Blogalicious! said...

Well...I do love trashy tv.

Mrs. Clark said...

Hey, you've presented an impossible conundrum, much like the one in Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm (or Anne of Green Gables, I can't remember which): Would you prefer to be stunningly beautiful, fabulously rich, or brilliantly clever?

Since I want to use a shotgun on the TV tube when I see those airheads on dating shows, I guess I throw in with the self-important business BSers.

James McOmber said...

You nailed both of those perfectly. I think I'd actually rather hear the relationship garbage, though, than the 7-Habits-For-Highly-Effective-Androids/chairman-of-the-bored drivel.

Mariko said...

#1.
I've got choice #3. NCLB talk. "If you don't have your state mandated standard in student-friendly language complete with objective and 'I can' directive, how will we ever meet our standardized quarterly benchmark test AYP goals? The SCCC is now requiring the 80/20 scaffold to be implemented throughout your pacing guide plans as pertaining to your data-driven SMART goals."
The DOE loves acronyms more than a hamster in a roller coaster.