dream come true

Remember when I was studying for the bar exam and felt like MY WHOLE LIFE was a story problem, and I couldn't even watch TV without thinking about whether two characters formed an enforceable contract or who would be liable or if certain behavior was negligent or blahblahblah?

Guess I'm not the only one.
Thanks to the Volokh Conspiracy, I just discovered there's a CLE (Continuing Legal Education) seminar on Seinfeld. Ummm. Yes, please. Tell me you wouldn't geek out at this in a heartbeat. The description:

Fans of the famous 90`s sitcom, Seinfeld, may not have realized it, but they were watching a show rife with complex legal issues. Not only were there numerous lawsuits and potential lawsuits within the storyline of the show, but one episode even sparked a real-world suit against the network. In this unique seminar, Robert Rushing uses the milieu of Seinfeld to discuss a wide range of legal concepts. Don`t miss this chance to brush up your legal knowledge in a unique and entertaining way.

The following is a list of each episode mentioned and the related legal issues:

"The Puffy Shirt" - Contract law, meeting of the minds, the Mirror Image Rule, damages
"The Wink" - Real property conveyances, contract law, actionable conversions
"The Old Man" - Elder law, conservatorship, competency, informal agreements
"The Seven" - Contract law, promises, rhetoricals, warranties, ADR, quantum meruit
"The Soup" - Real property
"The Soup Nazi"- Libel, false light cases, intellectual property (real-world lawsuit)
"The Serenity Now" - Products liability, disclaimers, causation
"The Alternate Side" - Tort law, proximate cause, liability and agency
"The Pie" - Tort law, intellectual property
"The Sniffing Accountant"- Libel, slander per se (in-show lawsuit)
"Newman`s Speeding Ticket" - Ethics, perjury, Rule 303
"The Marlborough Man" - Ethics, ex parte communication, Rule 7-104 (in-show lawsuit)
"The Finale" - Character evidence, modus operandi, relevancy (in-show criminal trial)

get v. don't get

Things I get:

• Libraries. It's like the store, but free, so better. Word has reached me that due to budget problems, Philadelphia shut down their public libraries this year. Is that the most horrible thing you've ever heard?
• Pregnawinters. Wintertime is a great time to be really pregnant because you just feel warm instead of enormous. I might take this back once the kid's here and I don't leave the house for months straight, but right now, it's pretty nice.
  
• Also, pregnancy in general. I know those of you who have a rough go of it don't want to hear this, but I'm still pretty comfy and can see why people do this a lot.
  
• I don't sing or really understand much about music but I really like it in Christmas programs when the congregation sings normally while the choir does something fancy and high. It sounds angelic and often lovely.
  
• Costco hot dogs. Is there a better way to spend $1.50? I know, I know, hot dogs are gross and bad, blahblahblah, but I had one the other day and it was delicious. And if you're wondering if I dragged a buddy on a 2-hour road trip for a Costco outing, the answer is yes. Hey, it's winter.

Things I don't get:

• Darling, in any form. "That is so darling!" "Darling!" "Love it! How darling!" WHAT? It makes my head hurt. Maybe for puppies or a brand new baby, but even then, what does it MEAN? MAKE IT STOP.
  
• How that freaking Hannukah song by Orrin Hatch is so painfully catchy. It's looping through my head to the point of painful.
• All the crap people sell to new parents. Remember the Sacajawea theory? I know I only have 1 kid in my uterus and 1 kid out so I don't claim to be an expert on this stuff, but my minimal experience tells me that YOU REALLY DON'T NEED ANYTHING. Well, a carseat, and diapers, and boobs. Okay, a basic pump if you want. Infant mobilizers? Diaper genies? Special pillows? Wipe warmers? (For anyone that thinks I'm kidding, THOSE ARE REAL THINGS. PEOPLE PAY MONEY FOR A CONTRAPTION THAT WARMS BABY WIPES. NOT A JOKE.) And though this is a separate topic perhaps for another day, I find it bizarre that a lot of marketing to moms, e.g., "We know what you busy moms need!" assumes little kids in diapers and strollers. Where is all the junk people peddle to moms of older kids? Will I discover that when I reach that point in life, or does corporate America just know that moms of older kids are less dupe-able?
• Ham sandwiches. I just don't know why you'd choose ham when there are so many other perfectly good meats out there to have in your sammich.
  
• Consent forms signed DURING LABOR. I took a too-long childbirth class at the local hospital last weekend (yes, I've given birth before, but I wanted a refresher and was hoping for a tour, though it turns out they aren't giving tours thanks to the flu) and my head almost exploded. In a horrible portion of the class that involved discussion of forceps, vacuums and c-sections (none of which I will mention EVER again bc I'm a hippie and all about POSITIVE BIRTH STORIES ONLY), the teachers kept saying "side effects and complications are rare but all mentioned in the consent form you'll sign if you need one." Granted I have a brand-new law degree and don't claim to be an expert on anything except certain types of bad TV, but HOW in the HELL are you in a position to give any type of "informed consent" WHILE IN LABOR, let alone after hours of labor and if your baby is in distress? I don't think you have to sign anything, but if you do sign something, is that in ANY WAY enforceable? Warning to those who will study/are studying/have studied law: IT MAKES US UPTIGHT.

That's it for now. How about you?