Sunday, January 30, 2011

in reality I'm somewhere in between

Things that make me sound meaner/grumpier than I am:
  • I am pro-pregnancy and pro-reproduction, but there are few things I dislike more than bare belly pregnancy shots, especially at like 6-12 weeks when it's an excuse to flash your nasty snicket midriff.  BLECH! Okay, okay, we get it, we get it.  You're slender and buff and vain.  What do you want, a trophy? 
  • I am pro-gratitude but sometimes, thank you notes can add distance and in certain situations they are weirder than they are nice.  Agree or disagree?  Example: I don't have a sister, but if I did, I wouldn't send her thank you notes for basic things, because that would be treating her like my great-aunt instead of my sister.  Once in a while, for something special?  YES!  But when you're good, good friends and/or closely related, most of the time you're kind of past thank you notes.  Certainly, there are occasions that call for a thank you note here and there, but in general, if we are close, I just assume we are grateful to/for one another, period.  Ubiquitous thank you notes add a layer of awkward formality, and it also makes me think about all the times they probably think they should have received a thank-you note from me and didn't.  COME ON.  If you are reasonably close to someone, they love what you got them and can just TELL you they appreciate it, note = redundant, mmmkay? (I am pro-thank-you notes in most situations, but regular ones involving dear, dear friends or relatives are always startling.)
  • There are some notable exceptions but generally speaking, owning an ipad makes you 35 times more likely to be intolerable.
Things that make me sound nicer than I am:
  • Remember how I just learned to sew?  I made our sister missionaries rice bags!  I couldn't help it!
  • I love my new-ish job and feel a startling and somewhat absurd amount of pride when things "click" for students and it melts my ice-cold heart.
  • I can't help but leave babysitters little treats because my 13-year-old self loved that.


MandoRama said...

I so very much agree with your first point. I'm not a fan of bare belly shots at any point in the pregnancy. Mainly because I pretty much look like this the entire time:

PS - Congrats on the new job!

Sara said...

What Job???? I'm so out of the loop. And, I'm always thankful to know you - I send you thank you notes in my head every day!

Mhana said...

1. I really don't like bare pregnancy shots that have some strategic item over the genitalia (like a husband's feet, yes I saw that once). I also don't like ones with the husband mooning over the belly, staring adoringly, playing the recorder, making a heart with his hands, kissing it etc. These are all fine in the privacy of your home. I've never been pregnant so I don't know how much time the average dad spends on these activities. If I know my husband, feeling the kicking is as close as it will get.

2. I feel thank you notes are appropriate when you live far away and receive a gift. It is always in good taste to send a thank you note for a gift when the giver was not there to see your gratitude. I especially feel this way about birthdays and Christmas when there likely were several gifts that represent some investment of time/money/effort. However, a phone call should suffice for "I appreciate you" or "you sent me a shirt! thanks!" I definitely feel the only two genteel options are a note or a phone call when acknowledging a gift (other than say, a loaf of bread). Tweet, facebook, text even email all say "I am too lazy to talk to you on the phone like a grateful human being." Yes, I am really really into etiquette. I buy vintage etiquette books because I think people used to be better behaved and I don't trust what Emily Post thinks of 2011.

3. Agreed. But I felt that way when cell phones came out. Seriously, you're going to ignore my face to face conversation to have an inane chat on the phone when I am RIGHT HERE?!

4. You've always sounded interesting and reasonably nice to me, which is why I blogstalk you, total stranger. You sound like someone I wish were in my ward.

alex dumas said...

I know I don't comment much, if ever. But You are cool. Just wanted you to know.

Just SO said...

I don't like the bare belly shots too much either. I do think it would be funny to do one with the husbands face close to belly making it look like he just got kicked in the face by the baby. That would be hilarious.
I do like covered belly shots but they have to be close to term so that the kid can see what he/she put their mother through.

I'm crappy at thank you notes in general but I will usually send one if someone makes me a dinner or something. But I agree when it's really close family you needn't do the thank you notes except on special occasions. Sometimes I think it's even nicer to just send a random thank you note to close family members just thanking them for being such a support yk? Not necessarily sending them in conjunction with any certain event or gift.

Now I'm rethinking my desire for an ipad.

Rice bags are awesome...thus making you awesome for being able to sew them.

No one ever left me treats when I babysat. I must not have been as wonderful of a baby sitter as you were.

Jordan and Jandee said...

I 100% agree with your stance on thank you notes. I have a good friend (in fact she probably was my best friend for several years) that will send me thank you notes if I bump into her at the grocery store and say hi to her. Okay okay that may be an exaggeration, but its only a small one. She came for lunch last week and of course I got a thank you note. Awkward.

KT said...

I'm just against prego belly pictures in general. I took a few with Sadie and a few with Bailey, but they're for our eyes only and posting them makes me feel weird. Plus, I'm almost certain the only reason my friends want to see pregnancy pictures of me is to see how fat I've become. That's the only reason I look at other people's pregnancy pictures. :-)

I'm with you on the thank you notes. Only, I don't like writing them period. Not to anyone. I'm tacky like that. Plus, I never know what to say to fill up the card, so usually I just call the person and say thank you.

Jaimie said...

I HAVE to agree on the iPad comment! Finally someone calls it out...

Birdy said...

Ice-cold heart. I hate that you gave this label because since reading it I have had to come to terms with my own. Now that I have the words for the thing, I find myself thinking thoughts and doing actions that verify that I do, in fact, have a terribly ice-cold heart. So cold, actually, that I am okay with it.

Lost in Translation said...

I think thank you cards are nice in some circumstances, especially if someone has done something particularly kind. If I give somebody a present, I don't need a thank you card. If you have one iota of graciousness, you'll say thank you when I give you the present. That's enough for me. Don't waste a stamp!

Am I missing something about the beauty of bare belly shots? Because apparently they are the cool thing to do. Personally, at a mere twenty weeks of gestation, I'm already feeling rather stretch-marked and globular. I really don't care to share that sight with the rest of everyone. I think the rest of everyone thanks me.