Monday, March 14, 2011

random ranting

Can we talk about awful slogans for a sec?

MidAmerican Energy:  "Obsessively, relentlessly, at your service."

Does OBSESSIVELY not imply ABNORMAL?  Is this really what my electricity company should be going for?? An energy guy could be lurking around every corner.  "Can I help you now?  How about now?  NOW?  Need help??  ((nervous twitchy smile)) BUT I WANT TO HELP YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.  I NEEEEED TO HELP YOU. I need.  I need.  I need."

Terr-i-fying.

Similarly,  let's talk about HyVee (a Midwest grocery store).  Oh, HyVee.  I love HyVee and go there all too often.  But the slogan?  YIKES.


"A helpful smile in every aisle." 

EVERY aisle?  Are you kidding me?  SOMEONE IN AN APRON GRINNING MANIACALLY ON EVERY AISLE?  I, for one, like to grocery shop in peace.  Is that not the premise of a fantastically creepy horror movie?  Could we not go for every other aisle?  A helpful smile on several aisles?  Also weird is that their employees totally look like missionaries...white shirts, ties, black nametags.

And finally, remember when Minute Maid had all that "Put good in, get good out" stuff?  GROSS.

8 comments:

Sally said...

That HyVee slogan is beloved by all midwesterners!!! I mean sometimes I'm looking for a helpful smile at Smiths but no one is to be found.
The MidAmerican Energy one is really bad and weird though.

Matt Conlon said...

Yeah, seems to be a whole lot of creepy going on there!

Speaking of slogans, I think I must have been about 25 or so before I actually understood the Smucker's slogan, "With a name like Smuckers it has to be good".

I'd originally thought they were saying, "Of course, it's good, look at the name! How could you not be good with a name like that!?"

instead of "Because we're probably hurting ourselves with that name, the stuff NEEDS to be good."

Lindsay said...

Ugh, I don't know if I can look a container of orange juice the same way again.

I love your blog. Really, I do.

hate2bcold said...

And, why are you not working in advertising?

Mrs. Clark said...

What about Charmin's new one, "Enjoy the go?"

Gross.

Brooke said...

I flew Frontier airline to my moot court competition a couple weeks ago. Their slogan? "We're a whole different animal." You could almost hear the flight attendant's choking on it as they began and ended each flight.

Deanna said...

The Hy-Vee missionaries are hilarious! I always expect a message about The Book of Mormon on the cereal aisle.

How about "Have a happy period." Thanks Always.

KT said...

I basically really like your blog.