Tuesday, April 05, 2011

four funnies

Ready, set, GO!
  • First, this is the best, best, best homemade playdough in the universe and I have been enjoying it for ages and shan't keep it from you any longer.  The texture!  The ease of both creation and clean up!  Take a little pot and warm up half a cup of salt and 1 cup of water on the stove (just on low is fine).  Add in a tablespoon of vegetable oil, a tablespoon of cream of tarter, and whatever food coloring you want.  Stir it for like 20 seconds, just til it's mixed up and warm, then stir in a cup or two of flour, smoosh it up, and as soon as it cools down, behold the joy of your child(ren).
  • Second, are you watching America's Next Great Restaurant?  We are and I'm loving it. The behind-the-scenes (design a logo!  figure out a menu!  pick your furniture!  present your brains out!) reminds me of how much I would LOVE to run a restaurant one day.  Is this one of those things everyone wants to do?  I don't mean be a big deal chef.  I mean, own a delicious sammich place like Palmers Deli.  I think this interest stems from how much fun I had being the drive thru chick at a certain taco place in the 90s and later waiting tables; there's a unique rush that comes from a busy restaurant.  Also, I like being in charge of things, and shouting, and that's what restaurant owners do, right?  Combining that rush with my natural bossy streak sounds ideal.  Soooo, add this to the long list of things I want to do that I start thinking about because of reality television.  The next time I have a hundred thousand dollars laying around, I'm totally doing it.  (Starting a restaurant, not going on reality tv.)  Maybe you can be my chef!  Or advisor!  Or shift manager!  Whatever you want. 
  • Third, I think congratulations-fatigue is a real phenomenon.  If you're having a kid, that is a big deal, but you don't get five hundred separate congratulations.  I think law school congratulations should max out earlier too.  Instead, we beg for perpetual congrats.  "I can't believe I'm PREGNANT!"  "CAN YOU BELIEVE I'M 8 WEEKS!"  "Its.....a.....GUESS THE GENDER!" "IT'S MY BABY SHOWER!" "LOOK AT MEEE!  HALFWAY!!!  "I FINISHED MY BIRTHING CLASS!"  "GOING INTO LABOR!" "FULLY DILATED!"  "BABY EMERGING!"  "BABY'S HERE!"  WE FINALLY PICKED A NAME!"  "WE BLESSED OUR BABY!"  Reproduction is great, but one big "Way to go!" is enough of a congratulations for one thing.  Agree or disagree?  Similarly, I think us lawyers need to relax.  We want congratulations for getting in, congratulations for starting, congratulations for finishing finals, congratulations on grades, congratulations on being halfway through, congratulations on finishing, congratulations on ACTUAL graduation, congrats on studying for the bar, congrats on taking the bar, and then congrats on passing the bar, and nine hundred thousand mini-milestones in between.  THAT IS FAR TOO MANY TIMES TO EXPECT CONGRATULATIONS.  The only people who still care are your spouse and maybe your mom but trust me, even they have their limits.  Do other fields do that too?  YIKES.  I propose that we cap social congratulations at one.  As in, you get one large and hearty pat on the back per thing.  You graduated?  CONGRATULATIONS.  You have now reached your congratulatory quota.  You reproduced?  CONGRATULATIONS.  You have now reached your congratulatory quota.  Who's with me?
  • Finally, I'm NOT a runner but I ran a 10K for the first time this past weekend.  (No congratulations needed, although if you choose to give me one, you don't have to again for anything running related, because, ONE CONGRATULATIONS PER THING.)  Who knew it was possible for me??  It was surprisingly fun, and it's making me wonder what else I've always considered "not my thing" so never tried, but if I tried, maybe I'd like it.  Got any suggestions?


Ru said...

FULLY DILATED!!-congratulations

Gross and hilarious. You skipped afterbirth congratulations.

Mhana said...

I think in general you get two congratulations if a big event takes a long time. You get congratulated for getting into the school of your choice and congratulated for finishing, since your friends get several years of down time between. You get congrats for being pregnant and congrats for having a child. I may or may not get enthused about the gender for you. I definitely will not congratulate you on your nonexistent bump at six weeks nor will I exclaim over your food cravings. I'll listen to my best friend, but I'm not cooing to acquaintances on facebook. I figure if you work towards something specific for 9 months or more, you get congratulations. You don't for finishing a five page paper.

Liz said...

I'm with you on the congrats. It's too much, from too many people! Pregnant ladies need to calm down a touch, in my opinion. :) People can congratulate me once, when I actually have the baby, and that's more than enough for me.

Also, I want to own a restaurant, too! Getting to boss people around plus the adrenaline rush on a busy Saturday night--awesome! I need to check out that show.

Brooke said...

That means I've totally hit my "congratulations" quota from you a couple times and you are definitely not allowed to acknowledge my graduation in 13 months. (That was my backhanded way of saying "LOOK AT ME ... 2/3 DONE!!!)

Sara said...

I congratulate myself every day I manage to get out of bed and go to work. I also congratulate myself I make a good decision (drinking water), or a bad decision (drinking beer). It's the only way to make it through the day...BUT, I don't expect anyone else to congratulate me, so I feel like that justifies it.

p.s. Congrats on the 10k - I hope the kids made you a sign and cheered you on.

gurrbonzo said...


Mhana: Congratulations on that excellent clarification. I like it.

Liz: Booyah.

Brooke: no, no, no! I will happily congratulate you whenever I want and for as long as I want to. so, CONGRATULATIONS. I just don't want people to expect it, myself included. Know what I mean?

Sara: I hear you and as your life coach, grant you lifelong permission to continue. I congratulate myself for not eating a box of girl scout cookies every day. CONGRATULATIONS! And I wish you'd been there for the run!!!!

Sally said...

I love America's Next Great Restaurant! I don't think I would have watched it (as without a DVR I don't watch much regularly) but Krystal- of Greg and Krystal of Grill'billies- is a friend of a friend, so having someone to root for really hooked me in! I also love Spice Coast guy and the Soul Daddy guy (except, his uniform last week? hideous).
Joey Meatballs, although entertaining, needs to go.
I also want to point out that Sinners and Saints lady has the same hair as Curtis, check it out next week.
And p.s. CONGRATULATIONS! on the 10k! I puked after my first 10k, which I didn't train for at all. Hopefully that didn't happen to you :) hahaha

Holly C M said...

How about a half a congratulations for your running--congrats!

Brooke said...

I feel like missionaries get a lot of repetitive potentially non-necessary congratulations, too: Congrats on DECIDING to go! Congrats on PUTTING IN YOUR PAPERS! Congrats on your CALL!! Congrats on a fabulous FAREWELL TALK! Congrats on making it through the MTC! Congrats on making it to the field! Congrats on surviving your trainer! Congrats on making it 6 months! Congrats on training! The list just never ends .... The more I think about it the more I feel like law school is like a mission only longer. It's hard, you feel the need for constant encouragement and validation to keep going which results in absurd amounts of praise for absurd things (for example, a few friends and I are planning a celebratory lunch for getting the DRAFT of our substantial writing in) and (at least at BYU law school) the guys have to shave every day.

La Yen said...

I want that Spice Coast restaurant to win because it feeds my hope that one day we will have readily available Indian food all over.

And Placenta-lations is my new favorite greeting.

katie m said...

What makes me cringe actually- on the TOTAL OPPOSITE end of the congrats saga, is when somebody, for instance, posts on facebook/blogger about a trial/hardship they may be passing through and people responding with, "You're in my thoughts and prayers"... and seeing that one liner over and over and over again. C'mon people- I know you're well meaning and all, but can't we sound a little more sincere, a little less robotic in our sympathy?? A little more creative and brain juice put into a response?? Just mix it up even a bit please and I'll be satisfied! How about, "Shoot, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I will be praying for you for the next while. What else can I do for you"? SOMETHING!

But the copious usuage of congrats, especially in one scenario (i.e. running, babies, etc)... is certainly uberdone. I suppose I just bored of the same ol, repititous "congrats" congrats congrats everywhere. What ever happened to inserting some almost-forgotten adjectives instead??

And really- 10K? You rock.

Thanks for making my head think deeply with this post.


Ashley said...

I drove by Del Taco the other day ago.

Sarita said...

Firstly, Congratulations on the best playdough recipe! And 10k. And another great post!

Also, I volunteer Joel as your chef. He is excellent. And the opposite of a congratulations whore. Likes to fly under the radar. Unless you are fawning over our baby, he can't get enough of that.

Lost in Translation said...

Bah. Facebook is really mostly just ruining our lives.

More than baby updates (though I'm really tired of this particular Facebook app called BabyGaga, which provides my fellow pregnant friends with alienoid looking pictures of their unborn children to post), I'm done with the whiny statuses. People get two melancholy statuses in a row, and they they get the axe.

Oh, and the crap about the bar? Yeesh. My bar results don't come out for another two weeks. Reading the statuses of all of my friends who passed the bar furthers my growing feelings of inadequacy.

All that said, I think your 10K is pretty rad. Walking the 1/3 mile to the grocery store feels like a major feat to me these days. Wahoo!

Matt Conlon said...

Been a while, hope all is well! :)

gurrbonzo said...

Matt, I'm here, I'm here! Just lame. But, definitely here.