gurrbonzo: this is getting ridiculous

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

this is getting ridiculous

What kind of goober blogs like thrice a year? Sorry, Internets. I do what I can and sometimes that isn't blogging, y'know? We've been busy adventuring, and by adventuring, I mean:

making the annual journey west that pretty much every Mormon anywhere else does.

On said trip, hanging out with piles of friends and fam. Lunch dates with old friends and new friends! Weddings! Races! Emergency root canals! Napless children on rampages! I'll leave the sordid details out but in sum, it was delightful but a whirlwind and one of those vacations you need a vacation from at the end. Especially when at the end, you find out your flight is way delayed and spontaneously decide to drive home instead! My sweet mother came home with me to watch our kids while I went to a youth camp for teen girls. Turns out she was one of a dozen grandmas who came from Utah that week to be on babysitting duty for camp...maybe we should fit it into the church budget? Just an idea.

Speaking of camp, it was in Boone, Iowa. At first I thought that was a slang way of saying it was super far away, as in, "Oh, yeah, it's all the way out in boon!" but it turns out Boone is an actual place. I know this because I spent four days and three nights there and we're all still recovering. BAHAHA! It was such a great time and by great I mean hot and humid and fun and funny. I haven't been to Girls Camp since I was a teenager myself and if you're wondering if IT has changed at all, the answer is no. If you're wondering if I'VE changed at all, the answer is yes. But I still went down the waterslide 17 times due to my awesomeness. Also, I'm still trying to decide if I slept better on the wet ground than I do at home with small children waking up all the time. Would you rather be INTERRUPTED but COMFORTABLE, or UNINTERRUPTED but UNCOMFORTABLE? These are the questions that try (wo)men's souls.

Being so friendly I freak myself out.

Also, I forgot to tell you that I got a newfangled phone that can do things like connect to the Internet. I realize I'm like half a decade behind on this, but it's pretty handy. Greater love hath no man than this, that he transfereth his phone upgrade to his wife.

Annnnnd that's the latest here. How about you?

2 comments:

Ru said...: Yay, you posted!

Congrats on girls camp - I don't think all the money in the world or all the blessings in heaven could convince me to do that again. (Well, clearly that's an exaggeration. Everyone has their price, after all. But still.); 7:30 AM
Madame Palmkey said...: Not all Mormons migrate west. Those on the Pacific migrate east. I rarely join in this migration since ordinarily I have no family in Zion, but for this year only I do and will be able to partake in the fun 12 hour drive! YAH! I like visiting Utah because it weirds me out to have so many Mormons around, and it makes me appreciate a place with a little less elevation and a lot more natural moisture. We always say that the Mormons found Zion in Utah, but if they'd just kept going they would have found the Garden of Eden in Oregon.; 10:01 AM

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Quotable Quotes, or, tidbits from me life.

My professor, about people having their babies at home: Home delivery is for pizza.

Me, about Prof: I LIKE his wavelength; I'm just not on it.

Student: I don't think so.
(long pause).
Prof: No, you DO think so.

"I wish I had the opportunity to HAVE a sexual quality of life." -- student responding to survey

"I should cut up my credit cards.
(long pause)
Of course, then I would starve." -- Student

"Are you getting a manicure in my courtroom? What the hell are you doing?" Judge/Prof, to student clipping nails

"He covered everything but his 1990 colonoscopy. Good example of a bad speech. Everyone wants to go home, so unless you're awfully funny, keep it brief." -- Prof

"I'm not opposed to playing games. If you want to play solitaire, bring a deck of cards." -- Prof

"If you want to spend time with your young children, you have to do it when they're young." -- Chief Justice Roberts

Student: That doesn't jive very well with the second article of faith, punishing people for their parents' transgressions.
Prof: Yes, oh holy one.

"For expert witnesses, there are 2 requirements: must have gray hair, and must have hemorrhoids to convey the proper level of concern." -- Prof

"I represented a prostitute, and some of her activities were highly aerobic." -- Prof

"I lock my car. Do you know why? Because I have contraband." - - Prof

"You can either finish law school and write patents at home 1 hour a day, while your little one scribbles on the walls with permanent marker, or you can strap your baby to your back and wash floors with a dirty mop in the early morning and late evening. You decide." --Friend, telling me not to quit

"The children of lawyers who don't read footnotes will STARVE." -- Prof

"You know what’s great about a new day? It’s a new day, full of new opportunities for rejection. I mean, WHO KNOWS who might reject me today?” -- Student, about the job hunt.

"Every time I read an opinion by Justice Breyer, I think of ice cream, and then I want some." -- Student

"I don't want a job. I want a life plan. I need direction!" -- Student.

"They met at a Communist party get together. Not exactly the wardhouse, but still pretty romantic." -- Prof

"He thought he might be the father, because they had sort of an intimate relationship...well, not sort of." -- Prof

"The federal government appreciates love. They understand it." -- Prof

"You never tell your clients to lie. That's unethical. You say, 'Well, here is a potential, credible story that we hope is true.'" -- Prof

"When you get caught speeding, don't say 'I'm sorry.' Say, 'IF I was speeding, I am sorry.' ADMIT NOTHING." -- Prof

"It's true. You can google it on the Internet." -- Prof

"Let me give you a hypothetical. Jesus goes to law school, graduates, what does He do? Criminal prosecution or defense? That's right, he's defending these monsters. He's a defense attorney. That's my gospel insight for the day." -- Prof.

"This is my job. I'm just trying to do my job, and you're giving me a hard time. I don't give you a hard time with your job. I just order my burger and fries." -- Prof to smart alecky student

"It's just one more way he's found to shame me."
--Student, about Prof

"In a couple of days, you're going to wish this distinction didn't exist." --Prof

"I can't concentrate when it's snowing, dammit."
--Student, when asked a question in class

Prof: "And what did the court say about that?"
Student: "They didn't mention it."
(awkward pause)
Prof: "Actually, it's italicized. Hahaha!"

"Punitive damages are un-freaking-predictable, but it's the consumer's way of saying 'corporate America, you can't screw me over.'" -- Prof

"I'd like to reward attendance and good preparation, but it's a crapshoot, after all." --Prof, explaining grading policy

"I don't know if any of you have neighbors with vicious boars, but if you do, you should probably move." --Prof

Student A: The thing speaks for itself, don't you think?
Student B: Then I want to know what the hell it's saying.

Student: I would think so.
Prof: You would THINK so???
(awkward pause)
Student: But I would obviously be wrong.

"My wife tells me it's harder to actually give birth than to encourage someone to give birth." -- Prof

Student: I give up.
Prof: Actually, only I get to decide when you give up.

"I think most people who work for the government are lazy, because I've been to the post office." -- Student

"I made the mistake of going out to lunch. I've seen the sun. I've tasted freedom." -- Student

"Imaginable in a common sense sort of way, not imaginable in a science fiction sort of way." -- Prof

Prof: Ready? You've had 19 minutes to think about this.
Student: I know. I advanced a level on Warcraft.

"I know you hate me, because I made you read pages we didn't get to. I hate me too." -- Prof

"Don't go there. We have a chart on that that's gonna give you a rash." -- Prof

Prof: Passover is coming! Have you been thinking about it?
Student: No, Ive been busy preparing food for it all week.
Prof: Your excuse fails, because the law requires the lamb to be boiled not roasted, so it must be done quickly. Your excuse fails like the little boy who lost his CTR ring."

Student: Can you clarify consequential and incidental damages in this case? It's a little fuzzy.
Prof: Let's just not.

Prof: Now, I want to go back to this student, because he's the one that said thou shalt not kill.
Student: Well, God said that, I quoted it.

"An accumulation of bad choices will make you into a bad lawyer and therefore a bad person." -- Prof