Monday, July 19, 2010

bar none

Hello friends and internet. May I ask you a favor? I took the Utah bar exam last year, and then we moved, and I am taking the bar exam of our new state in the great Midwest so I can hold myself out as a lawyer.

(Timeout: "holding yourself out" is one of my favorite awkward phrases. It appears often in the law in subjects like common law marriage, e.g., "holding themselves out as husband and wife," or ethics, e.g., "holding yourself out as an expert," and its perhaps obvious meaning is a person purporting to be something. But "holding yourself out" just makes me picture me holding a smaller version of myself in the air a la Simba from the Lion King and shouting "Behold! I! Am! A lawyer!")

Anyway, what I'm trying to get to is this: If I ever mention that I'm thinking about taking another bar exam, I want you to stage an intervention. And if the intervention doesn't go well, shoot me.


Unrelated comment: being a parent is my favorite thing I've ever done. Our girls (a two-year-old and a six-month-old) had their first long, loud, deliberate giggle-back-and-forth exchange in the car the other day and it may have been the sweetest thing I've ever, ever heard. I sense much mischief in their future and I like it.

Moving on. I have a horrible, horrible, cannot-think-or-sleep-as-my-head-is-pounding toothache. Pretty sure it's bc I haven't been to the dentist since we got married due to lack of dental insurance (whooooops). This is particularly unfortunate timing considering the whole enormous test next week phenomenon, so yes, a dentist is squeezing me in today because if I have to take the bar with the right side of my head pounding I will cry. And also fail. But I'm pretty sure it's bad news, because I can't think of anything good they will tell me about a throbbing tooth/jaw/eyeball/side of face ("Congratulations! It's throbbing due to GOLD NUGGETS! LOTS AND LOTS OF GOLD NUGGETS!") and I suspect it will cost a fortune.

Let us pray. And floss.


Sally said...

BAHAHAHAHA. I now shall picture this picture during the test. If there are two things I will not forget it's common law marriage and that one little rule of ethics.
I'm sorry about your tooth, but at least you are getting it taken care of now! If it makes you feel better, I found out I have an ear infection today... "swimmer's ear" despite the fact I have not swam in months. It's so awesome that crap like this happens 1 week before the test!

Matt Conlon said...

You wish to be barred from taking bar exams?

I think they should rename that exam... I think a Bar exam should be to identify different brands of beer by their bottle caps. I bet I could pass that.

Annette Lyon said...

I will floss in your name.

Good luck in the bar. (Just saying "the bar" makes me break out in hives . . . shudder.)

Ru said...

I kind of want to cry for both of us right now, though you more because of your toothache. I promise - I will stop you from taking more bars if you stop me. Deal?

Nikki said...

Oh wow. I cannot comprehend having the brain-power to take the bar. wow. You are SUPERWOMAN.

And I feel your pain about the tooth. It seems I'm destined for dentures.

elliespen said...

Um, yeah. That's how I'm going to picture holding myself out as a lawyer from now on. Thanks for sharing! Also, good luck with the bar (I'm hating prep for UT right now and can't imagine trying it a second time on purpose). And I'm crossing my fingers for you that it will be gold nuggets.

Mhana said...

I'm glad you put up the simba pic because when you said "holding yourself out there" I unfortunately pictured a perv exposing himself in a park. That is what comes of being in France I suppose. Your image is far, far better.
It might be a gold nugget, in which case removal will pay for itself.

Deanna said...

So sorry to hear about your toothache. I hope you opted for the one with the massage chairs.

We had our first giggle fest just recently, too. It is WAAAYYY better than the whine fest that happens way too frequently. You'll pass the bar (and I am speaking of your test and not bathroom humor! Am I the only one just crude enough to think of that? Probably.) and get to come home to toothache free giggles in a matter of days. Hang in there. Jim Gaffigan awaits!

Dorothy said...

Lots of gold nuggets, ha ha ha.

Just SO said...

Ow. Good luck with both the toothache and the bar exam!

And the laughter of children is probably my favorite sound in the wide world.