I am about to meet my new hero

Some girl is about to come stay with us. I've never met her but I definitely admire her. Admire her as if she were one of those people who climbs Mt Everest each spring, barefoot, blind and naked and/or writes computer programs with her feet because she lost her hands and both eyes thanks to the troubled neighbor kids messing with fireworks again. Why do I admire a stranger this much?
Because she is apparently friends with two people I know. While being friends isn't usually amazing by itself, it is in this case, primarily because if she IS friends, it means she had to have BECOME their friends at some point, which means she broke through a fierce, rocklike ice barrier impenetrable to mere mortals and for that I applaud her, because I've spent an entire semester trying and failing miserably.

Mystery girl, I salute you!

Like the fountain of youth, only real

I discovered a little something about the law library today:

listening to other people's shared libraries on itunes is the quickest way to feel a better. I listened to Disney's Greatest Hits and Destiny's Child this afternoon and realized "Kiss the Girl" and "Say My Name" really help the federal rules of civil procedure come alive.

Can't talk now, "tale as old as time..." just started...

We love you 1991

Close your eyes and go back to fourth grade with me. You know, spandex shorts, hypercolor shirts, long division and Family Matters. New Kids on the Block and writing in cursive are totally old news and Achey Breaky Heart is new news. You there? Now imagine your fourth grade self: you enjoy reading the occasional chapter book and Kriss Kross is making you jump, jump. You can probably name a few state capitals, maybe you did a report on clouds or whales. Imagine your fourth grade self sitting down to take a calculus exam. Impossible! Sure, you had your multiplication tables down pat, but one glance at an advanced study guide and you'd be saying "Mom, why are there letters in math? What do these shapes mean? Is this a funny joke?"

That is my life right now. I hate you, Civil procedure, bc you are the calculus exam and I am the 24 year old fourth grader. Is it in English? How do I know what the difference is between Sections 1441 and 1332? Is "failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted" the same thing as "nice try"???

Where am I??

TWO DOWN.

Well, another one bites the dust. No, I didn't just croak from studying (though I have been locked in the law library for a week straight and yes, I have studied more this semester and perhaps even this week than the rest of my life combined and that is not not not an exaggeration, though I keep praying for a genie, magic cow, imaginary friend and/or fairy godmother to tell me that I haven't really had my nose in a book, a painfully enormous and moth-eaten monotonous book, for four months), and no one else I know kicked the bucket.

I'm talking about one more final down, and one big fat doozie to go. GOODBYE, TORTS. I poured my brain onto the screen (yes, we took the test on our laptops...is it Austin Powers of me to think that is neat? I am amazed by technology in a grandmotherly sort of way, couldn't believe it when i sealed my little flash drive in an envelope and handed it in and felt like James Bond. A sad, dorky James Bond). Three long hours...no one cares about the details, but as therapy for me, I will just say that there was a big, scary, ugly, messy, cruel and mole-covered hypothetical situation and we had 75 minutes to beat it into the ground with a baseball bat also known as my head, which was already swelling from information overload. A serious race against time began as I typed til my little fingers were sore, then we got a smaller but just as loathsome and vomit-inducing story to massacre for 45 minutes, then baby-bear version of the big beast for 30 minutes, and then a policy question at the end that was probably easy but I had gone cross-eyed by then so I'm not sure if it was about no-fault compensation or students against the treacherous use of fur. That's bad. I then slammed my computer shut and ran for my life. HOLD ME.

My snooty professor just said "No one gets everything I do, and that is normal."

high on life, baby

(insert large, ugly but heartfelt sigh, like a whale exhaling pounds of brine shrimp, but not as smelly)...DAMN! It feels good! What does, you ask? Did you just run 10 miles? Regime change? Another tasty lunchdate? Buy one get one free for somethig wonderful? Did you win the lottery?

No, ladies and gentlemen, much much better than all that. I just finished MY FIRST LAW SCHOOL FINAL. woowoo! Did I fail? Maybe! But is over? Hell yes it's over. One down, two beasts to go. GOODBYE, PROPERTY. It's funny how last week I asked everyone who made eye contact with me, "Was this voluntary? Was law school my idea???" and now I keep pounding my chest and yelling "Bring it the freak on." Hrmm. Bipolar? Perhaps. But sshhhh, I don't think Andrew knows.