Tuesday, January 16, 2007

HAGS: Have a good summer? No, Hyper AGing Syndrome

It could happen to you.

I recently aged 11 years in a matter of weeks, and now I am 35. Well, pretty much. I have just been diagnosed with HAGS and I want to walk you through my experience: initial discovery stages, self-diagnosis, peace, and now, searching for a cure. Aging so quickly doesn't happen often, but when it happens, watch out.

Friday, I noticed my first hint something was different: Andrew got home from work a little earlier than he normally does, and I was done with class, so we embarked upon a weekend dinner date rather early.

Hint a: you are probably creeping up on HAGS and age 35 when you notice you just FINISHED EATING AND THEN LEFT a restaurant at 6:30 on a Friday night.

The night was young. We could've caught a movie, eaten some more, had a dance party, gone for dessert, hit up a play, any sort of rock out, had our own Bogglefest...don't worry: we fell asleep watching Cars.

Hint b: you are probably turning 35 when you fall asleep watching an animated film before 9 on a weekend.

We also (finally) got our couch delivered, which means we can sit on big-kid furniture in our living room, you know, like normal people do. Not only did we get our couch, but (and here is the kicker) I found myself TELLING PEOPLE THIS like it was something a) cool or b) interesting to anyone other than us. Next thing you know, I will be blogging about wallpaper and/or using all the serving platters people gave us.

Hint c: you are probably turning 35 when furniture is news. The next steps on this ladder of social aging include talking about coupons, morning sickness and early childhood development. Utah Breastfeeding Coalition, here I come!

Just when you thought my HAGS couldn't get any worse...
The hardest part of the disease is coming to terms with the fact that in a sick, soothing way: I kind of like it.

Hint d: you are probably turning 35 when you are getting more and more boring all the time, and you don't even mind.

7 comments:

Justin & Kamie said...

Welcome, welcome. Although the initial shock of HAGS is sudden, a laps into HAGS bliss is forthcoming...

We fellow members of HAGS share your delight for new furniture. I myself even posted a blog about our new couches several months ago complete with several pics :)

supalinds said...

Yes, welcome to this wonderful world of HAGS. And in case you are wondering -it only gets worse.

Megan said...

may I laugh about the fact that you have jumped from a 16 year old (awkward RM phase) to a 35 year old (HAGS phase) within the last 9 months? haha.

gurrbonzo said...

I would put the awkward RM phase closer to 12, bc for a while I had no car and no normal clothes, which screams junior high. 16 seems a little high since at 16 I could hang out with boys alone without hyperventilating. So I guess the jump from 12 to 35 is even more incredible...23 YEARS! I aged my entire lifespan in 9 months!

Linds said...

does that mean that I'm still 12? I have no car and hardly any cute clothes? AAAHHH! I've got to do something quick to remedy this situation!

gurrbonzo said...

Linds: no no no, that's not what i meant! no car is awesome and eco-friendly. i meant that i felt way younger than 16 post mission, mostly due to my own social awkwardness, which included bumming rides and being a frump. i said "no normal clothes" bc i very literally only had cardigans and jumpers. okay, i made up the jumper part, but i was frumpy, and let's be honest, still am. EMBRACE THE FRUMP!

Linds said...

Kath,
I know that, I was just joking. But honestly, I can still feel the onset of HAGS in my life, even if I'm still single. I stayed home from a fun activity the other night---to do my laundry and clean my room (Granted it desperately needed to be done) and I enjoyed it.