Monday, April 07, 2008

Still in the oven, er, crockpot

One of the many perks of being this pregnant is that people start to give you advice on how to bring the baby out, and when I say "people," I mean strangers. The grocery store cashier told me to try black or blue cohosh pills. A professor suggested I sniff peppermint and start jumping up and down. A lady in the temple told me the baby would come "in the Lord's time," which is scary since at that rate, one day is a thousand years.

But best of all, the rough-looking gas station lady asked me if I'd tried "s-e-x," cautioning that "it might not be worth the trouble at this point." Ummm...YOU'RE THE GAS STATION LADY. DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO HAVE A SEX CONVERSATION WITH THE GAS STATION LADY?

17 comments:

Jennifer said...

Why yes, I'll take Random Comments From Strangers for $300,please!

Question: What is simultaneously awkward and annoying, and most often outrageous?

Mar said...

I think the gas station lady just wants to have s-e-x, period.

Anonymous said...

Actually, she is right. Helped me speed up labor with my second child. Gross? Yes, but it is worth it to get that potroast out of you.

Andrew said...

This advice doesn't sound that bad. If you ask me.

OHANA said...

Those are the best random advice comments I have ever seen!! I tried a lot of things, trampolines, moving furniture, taking long walks, s-e-x, and at one point I convinced my doctor that I just needed to be induced (2 weeks early)! Well goodluck and I can't wait to see this kid!!

Supalinds said...

LOL...S-E-X from the gas station lady is too funny. I almost went into labor laughing at that one.

Jen Ha said...

Are you sure that gas station lady was not propositioning you? Hm... what was her tone like?

zacharoo said...

I think I LOLed eight separate times when I read that. What is wrong with gas station lady sex conversations? They are my favorite. Who else will tell you to buy the ribbed condoms instead of the regualar ones? You have been on my mind a lot lately and I keep thinking that if people are pressuring me to give birth to a child, I would squeeze my prive parts so hard that she would never come out.

ChrisandKate said...

I think andrew's comment is the funniest yet.

erin g said...

i've been thinking about this for a while, and i think that yes, you *do* look like you want to have a sex talk with the gas station lady.

Ashley is Blogalicious! said...

You should go "dancing through the streets without your clothes on." Once you have a child, you'll have to set an example, and that might no longer be acceptable.

megandjon said...

my husband is also "offering" to help out with the S-E-X labor starting thing. aren't they just sooo considerate and thoughtful? ha ha.

also, i laughed so hard at the "crockpot" reference i almost couldn't read the rest of the post. it is so, so, so, so true. we are slowcookers!!

Jay and Jess said...

I know I don't know as much as gas station employees- but i just have two words:

CASTOR OIL

gurrbonzo said...

Jennifer: most of my life?

Mar: I think you're right.

Jen: ew. Now that you mention it...

Zacharoo: THAT is exactly why we are friends.

erin g: that explains it!

Jay: I have two words in return: HELL. NO.

Tarra said...

maybe you just need unidimensional focus?

Nikki said...

LOL!! I almost wet my pants reading this.

Andrew's comment is the best.

Celular said...
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