tartly torts

Studying for the multi-state portion of the bar exam is a serious flashback to my 1L year. I can even hear the unforgettable voice of a certain professor whom I adore and who also happens to bear an uncanny resemblance to Velma from Scooby Doo.

I think you know who I mean.

Anyway, many of these quotes are readily available on my sidebar, but for your more convenient/immediate pleasure and because of my stroll down memory lane today as I re-pour into my brain information about assault, battery, false imprisonment, strict liability, res ipsa loquitor and let's not forget good old-fashioned negligence, I give you....

tidbits from my torts class.

The year: 2006.

My status: unmarried (engaged) and shellshocked (post-mission awkwardness at an all-time high).

My mood: awesome (by nature) and overwhelmed (by school).

"Punitive damages are un-freaking-predictable, but it's the consumer's way of saying 'corporate America, you can't screw me over.'" -- Prof

Prof: "And what did the court say about that?"
Student: "They didn't mention it."
(awkward pause)
Prof: "Actually, it's italicized. Hahaha!"
(as any classmate present will verify, it's the nelson-type pointing and laughing that really made this experience memorable).

"I don't know if any of you have neighbors with vicious boars, but if you do, you should probably move." --Prof

Student: “I would think so.”

Prof, incredulously: “You would THINK so?”

(awkward pause)

Student: “But I would obviously be wrong.”

“Companies respond! Hello! Why did Fisher Price make little people bigger? Because children eat them.” --Prof

Prof, when another law school class was scheduled to take place in our classroom during our classtime:
“No, we will not get up and leave, we will fight them. TORTS IN ACTION.”

Prof to student: "What, you can't write this down? You don't have hands??"
(long awkward pause) "Well, I guess you do have one arm in a sling. Never mind."

“Assuming you have a head, you should be able to write like the whole time.” --Prof's advice on taking finals

Student A: The thing speaks for itself, don't you think?
Student B: Then I want to know what the hell it's saying.

Student: I give up.
Prof: Actually, only I get to decide when you give up.