Friday, July 17, 2009

Know what I like that is really gross (besides Del Taco)?

The term "grow a pair." I know, it's so vulgar. But it's also really effective, and it portrays exactly what I want it to most of the time, in a way in which "grow a spine" or "buck up" or "pull it together" just don't. As I adjust to a new region of the country and know no one but my hub in a 1,000 mile radius, and as I strive to prepare for the damn bar exam by shoving more information into my head than I previously thought was possible, I tell myself to grow a pair a lot. I mean, figuratively.

There is so much information swirling in my head right now it's a little freaky. I'm out of room in my brain but still need to cram (significantly) more in before the bar exam. There are only two solutions: it's time to brain-purge and get rid of all unnecessary/non-urgent info floating around in there, like how to sign the True to the Faith hymn, or that a group of owls is called a parliament, or that there are a number of ways in which women can prepare and subsequently consume their placentas.

See? I have room for like three more things now. Yikes. Guys, it really is like preparing to take 20 intensive finals rolled into one. SO. MUCH. INFORMATION. Brain exploding.

I know, I know...time to grow a pair.

12 comments:

Sally said...

OMG we get TIME every week and I read that afterbirth article and wanted to die. I'm kind of a tree-hugger... I believe in natural healing, alternative medicine and and all that stuff... but eating your own placenta? NO. I draw the line.

Brooke said...

EW!!! People eat their placentas???

Amy said...

Dude, Kathleen, I just watched that video about eating placentas and seriously just about barfed. Like projectile vomited across the room. That was so sick. I'm going vegan. And I know just what you mean about having one's brain entirely fit to rupture. Maybe it will happen in my sleep and I will die a peaceful death.

Sharon said...

I like "grow a pair" too. I also have become renound for telling myself (and occasionally others) to "put on your big girl panties" and just do it...whatever it is.

So put on your big girl panties and get to brain-cramming.

Aunt of 14 said...

Del Taco fan here!!!!! Are you saying that you think Del Taco is gross, or that you think Del Taco is gross but you like it ANYWAY?

When anyone from CA asks me what I want for my birthday or Xmas... I tell them I want lots and lots of packets of the mild Del Taco sauce. How can you beat that? It's FREE! Well, you know. the sauce may be the only thing I really like from there... but anyway. Nobody likes getting the sauce for me! Why is that?

Sara said...

Thanks to you, I now slightly less space in my head for bar crap. :-/

Anonymous said...

You're TECHNICALLY not eating "your" placenta. You are eating your child's placenta.

There, that makes it much better, right?

Holly C M said...

I just had to look the phrase up in the "urban dictionary." I was afraid that's what it meant. All these years I've been saying "Put your shoulder to the wheel, push along." Does that not still work? Signed, aging in Seattle.

Jen Ha said...

Placenta Eating: Great. Another story magnifying the wierdness of Asians. For the record, the placenta lady learned those techniques from the CHINESE. Us VIETNAMESE are much more cultivated... uh... despite our reputation for consumption of dogs. Dammit.

Nathaniel said...

Mmmm...fish tacos.

Mrs. Clark said...

Oh. My. Goodness. Eating placentas? Kind of like taking Premarin--stands for pregnant mares' urine, folks. Yep. I think I'll just take whatever menopause hands me, thank you. And thanks, Gurr, for taking the time to educate us while still cramming for the bar. You don't need to grow a pair, you've got 'em!

Omgirl said...

I clicked over from Shanna's blog (just so) and I had to comment and tell you that I find you very humorous and refreshing to read.

Also, I almost lost my dinner toward the end of that very funny, very distusting Joel Stein article.

Good luck with the bar! (My BIL is studying for it now too. doesn't look fun at all.)