Wednesday, July 22, 2009

umm, kind of.

Studies are so all-consuming (particularly now that I'm in the same state as two of my child's grandmas and therefore have, as a certain former boss of mine used to insist was an accepted term, "uni-dimensional focus") that I have twitchy-eye, and so I cope with things that pop into my head, e.g., this.

Once, years ago, I lived in an upstairs apartment with a bunch of other sophisticated/fabulous women, and a kind but awkward young married couple lived below us. They were particularly impressive when it came to skills such as slow blinking, open-mouth stares, odd forced laughter at bizarre times, and so forth. They were so painfully awkward that one of our roommates began to refer to them, collectively, as Socially Inept. As in, "Socially Inept dropped by," or "Here's that note from Socially Inept." They were technically the apartment "managers" but I'm not sure what that job consisted of except pausing longer than necessary in polite conversation, looking mousy, and leaving the occasional passive-aggressive note. But we loved them.

One day, I came home to find a typed note taped to our door. If you're wondering if it immediately went on our fridge for about a year, the answer is yes.

Dear Residents,

Please do not park in spots that are not assigned to you, even briefly, as it causes other tenants incontinence. Thanks,

The Management.

16 comments:

Erin said...

just a few weeks ago i was reviewing some email for a case i'm working on and a woman apologized to her boss for "any incontinence i have caused you."

apparently it's a pretty common mistake?

ebv said...

You know what else causes incontinence? Bar Studying. I'm addicted to Raisin Bran and Secured Transactions.

So, I guess, inconvenient parking jobs could cause incontinence, too. You know, with the stress of it all.

On another note, I love people like that. They make me feel so... alive.

AzĂșcar said...

Then you guys should REALLY NOT have parked there.

meegs said...

Bahaha! Brilliant.

Kamie said...

I'm with Azucar. No wonder mousy management wrote you a note.

Piglet de' Erin said...

NO way! REally? Do you think they meant it or do you think that they meant another word? That is too funny. Maybe people did develop an incontinence problem.

Like waiting in the car so long for their spot made them pee themselves.

bah ha ha ha

Mar said...

Sweet!

And as a side note: Thank you for not making your blog one of those ones where I can only read 10 lines of it in Google Reader before I have to click and actually go into the blog to finish reading it. I am too lazy to make the jump sometimes.

Anna said...

baha!!! LOVE it! laughing out loud.

Anna said...

baha!!! LOVE it! laughing out loud.

SO said...

I would have put that on my fridge as well! Too fabulous! And I loved the description of the couple.

Confessions of a 30-Something Drama Queen said...

How did I know when I started reading this that it would be the incontinence story. I loved our lives living in that apartment. Hee hee. Good times. I ran across some photos of us doing our Brittney Spears dance in the living room. Don't ask me why someone decided that needed to be documented with photos. Makes me laugh.

Mrs. Clark said...

Not only Socially Inept, but Intellectually Inept, too. I love it! Would've gone on my fridge, too.

Sara said...

That was beautiful. Thank you... :)

~j. said...

Owee.

Jay and Jess said...

Unidimensional is a word!

ah said...

ahhhh frick. i was so excited when you opened your story with ..."once, years ago, I lived in an upstairs apartment with other sophisticated/fabulous women" because I thought surely you were about to share a wonderful story about me, Ziz and most of all Paula. Now that I think back on it, we were not all that sophisticated at the time. My bad.