Reading Rainbow was right....we CAN do anything!

Today at my new job (and when I say job I mean place I hang out for free), I learned that when the government decides if someone's disabled, as in, disabled enough to receive Social Security, they take a look at whether they can do any of the following "unskilled sedentary occupations." THIS IS NOT A JOKE. A few of my faves:

• telegraph-service rater (Just like gymnastics...I liked that telegraph, but the landing was rough. 8.5!)
  
• weave-defect-charting clerk (Mayday! Mayday! Crappy hairdresser alert!)
  
• cutter-and-paster, press clippings (psst...ever heard of CTRL-C and CTRL-V? It's 2007)


• scoreboard operator
  
• nut sorter (this one looks like an uber-maniac...take him away! This one....hrmmm...medium psycho...)
  
• cigarette-making-machine catcher (I don't know if it's catching the cigarettes or the machines, but either way, I like it)
• egg processor (i thought those were called chickens.)
  
• napper tender (code for baby-sitter?)


• plastic design applier (The old ladies who put clingy hearts on their windows on Valentine's Day can get PAID for that?)


• polisher of eyeglass frames (grandparents all over America could be making millions!)
  
• lens inserter (wtf)


• dipper of clock and watch hands (like Dairy Queen? With sprinkles?)
  
• golf ball trimmer (WTF!)


• finisher (OF WHAT? I finish a fountain drink each day...turns out that's a job)


• buckle wire inserter
  
• button reclaimer (Aha! Stand back! That's mine!)
  
• sticker
  
• puller through (Good news, perseverant Americans! Hang in there, and you'll get paid somehow).

Just take a minute to imagine any of those on a business card. Visit http://www.ssas.com/ and click on 137 Unskilled Sedentary Occupations near the bottom for more info....

Turns out, if law school doesn't work out, I'll always have options.