Dear John McCain,
I respect your willingness to fight a losing battle, since Obama will be our next president and you must realize that the next 9 months won't be very fun for you, getting squished like a bug and everything. It's noble of you to persevere uphill against all the odds. But I'm having a hard time taking you seriously with the 3-4 distinct rivers running through your neck. What's the story? Gastrobybass surgery? A treasure map? Were you attacked by a fork?