Friday, February 22, 2008

Pregnancy and the Public Library

The following interaction took place in the last 5 minutes:

I walk inside the public library and up the stairs, huffing and puffing a little but not too bad, proud of myself for coming here to try to be productive on this cloudy, otherwise depressing day. Overly friendly, nice, somewhat homeless-looking man grunts and says, "Excuse me, Miss, can I ask you a question?" I say, "Sure," and smile, because he is smiling, and I am friendly, and we are indoors with lots of other people around so I figure I can entertain a little downtown crazy for a few minutes without anything creepy happening. After all, randoms have provided all kinds of fun in my life.
He proceeds to nudge the disgruntled, angry-looking, missing-her-two-front-teeth woman next to him and whispers to her, "Ask her how far along she is!"
Grumpy lady shakes her head in refusal.
"ASK HER! ASK HER!" he loudly whispers, pointing at my belly. People are starting to look. I laugh and rub my belly and say something like "About 6 more weeks, give or take. Just about there!"
He gasps dramatically and shouts (yes, in the library) "OH, BUT YOU'RE SO SMALL! LOOK! Wow! Look! YOU'RE NOT EVEN LARGE! You must not have dropped yet."

What does that even mean?

I laugh politely and say, "Well, words like 'so small' are always welcome. You've clearly learned how to talk to pregnant women." Disgruntled woman: "He sure as hell better learn, bc I'm pregnant too. I have about 32 more weeks to go."

Awkward pause. I offer some polite congratulations while she glares at him, and then I begin to walk away.

Scary fellow to me: "Can I ask you one more favor?"
Me, laughing: "No, I will not name my child after you. I don't even know you."
Scary fellow: "No, no, no, I just want a profile shot. Will you turn to the side for me?"

Hrmm. This is awkward. What would you do in this situation?


Nikki said...

Tell him you're Amish and it's against your religion.

zacharoo said...

I would cry, lift up my shirt and let him take the photo of my bare pregnant belly. The I'd ask if he wanted to feel her kick.

karina said...

Yikes! At least he didn't ask to rub your tummy. I actually had random people try and do that to me. I would just grab my belly, smile and politely walk away.

tickiworld said...

Let him take it. Did you let him take it?

Linds said...

don't let him take it. He could do all kinds of weird photoshop things and post them on the internet.

Jay and Jessica's Ashram said...

I would have dropped my pants and mooned him on the spot.

SteveJJohnson said...

Run. Fast. Yes, I know you are pregnant. Just run. Fast.